Saturday, January 1, 2011

01.1.11 : Challenges in parenting

We spent our New Year morning in Bangi for a small gathering with some colleagues and friends of mine; sharing knowledge and experiences Alhamdulillah, a good start insyaAllah. Manage to keep in touch with old friends while we’re in the UK. Some came with full of ‘handbags’, some still maintain single. Hehe..Great experiences for Maryam too as she managed to get to know new bunch of friends, of which all were boys. She's the roses among the torns. hehe..

We had some discussions, where highlights were mostly about parenting tips and skills. Started off with reciting and discussing on tafseer Surah Luqman; focused between ayat 12 – 19.

One of us did mentioned that there are different ways in tackling and teaching children according to their age. Between 0-7 years old for instance, they tend to develop skills and learn through playing. Thus, parents have to make sure to be with them, playing and blend with their imagination as being part of the development process.

source: google

Once our children grew older, start schooling ie between 7 and 14 years old, that's the best time for us to teach them on what's wrong and what's good (halal & haram etc). This is because at this age, they tend to follow and obey on instructions given. Yup, in some occassion, yes..this might be true. If you notice, primary children tend to believe that whatever their teacher says is always right! But, is it really true that we can only teach on halal & haram etc only after they have started schooling. Nowadays, children are far more advance than us and whatever they know is sometimes unpredictable!

After the age of 14yo, they demand us to treat them as adult. The way we talk and give opinions, advise them shall be as if they are a friend of us.

If we think about it, it's a very challenging task in bringing up children nowadays. Since everything is just a finger click away, monitoring our childrens' activities can be very challenging. We cannot guard them everywhere and anywhere they go as one day, we'll leave them. If our approach tends to be too strict, children might become rebellious. Thus, a good fundamental of Islamic approach shall be the best way.

Hoping that I'll have the patience in bringing up my children. May Allah gives us strengh and always be with us, shed us lights along our way till Jannah, insyaALlah.

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